You’ve Got To Be Kidding

What is it with me and cars?

It’s like I’m cursed. I get a car and people start aiming for it. I know people who have had cars for 15 years and never had a scratch. Not only that but the only maintenance they ever did was to change the oil. Hell, I’ve known people who never changed the oil in their car and it lasted 10 years without a problem.

I had a Chevy Uplander. It got rear ended. We then bought a Dodge Grand Caravan. In the first 2 weeks 3 of the four bumper corners got hit. Then we bought a Dodge Journey just this year. Not even 3 months old and some woman made a left hand turn into me causing $10,000 damage. And just today some woman with a brand new car with a BACKUP CAMERA backed into the seam on the quarter panel and the bumper cover causing both to become loose. I had a guy yesterday back up into a spot next to me and if I hadn’t honked he would have backed right into me

WTFuck!!!!! How is this happening? It’s really putting a dent in my anger management goals. It’s really hard to remain stoic and philosophical when all these cabron’s keep spanking my ride.

What do I have to buy, a tank? Or some piece of shit clunker that I can either drive or take to the demolition derby depending how I feel that day?

Is there some sort of app for idiot drivers that they can tell when I leave the house and track me? Is there some sort of GPS signal coming from my car that paints a target on my car? Who the hell gave these morons a license? Stevie Wonder?

I’ve been hit so many times I could start my own club. I’m thinking of having T-Shirts made. “DID YOU HIT ME TOO?!!”

It’s getting to the point that I’m thinking about tying used tires around the outside of my car. I’m desperately hoping that someone will invent a NURF car. Or better yet, how about failing some of these loser drivers instead of letting them on the road to terrorize the rest of us.